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First off, I want to thank you for reading this post. Secondly, it is a new world people and I am looking for good manners!
Yes, I am on a rant
As an HR Professional, good manners are expected. However, in the digital world run by Alexa, Siri, Google Home, and other voice-responsive technical ‘people’, manners have fallen out of favor. Questions are asked of these tech gadgets (thankfully we use their names) and they tell us what we want to know. We do not ask please or say thank you because it isn’t necessary. Additionally, hello and goodbyes have gone by the wayside as well. Good manners seem to be a thing of the past and while most will blame parents, lack of parents, lack of respectful role models, social media, etc., I’m not 100% sure who or what to blame!
When was the last time you let a car move in front of you and they waved as if to show gratitude for letting them in? It very rarely happens anymore. Acknowledgment is so important in my opinion. Otherwise, people expect to be let in all the time and honestly, in my opinion, nobody should expect anything in life today.
These situations drive me crazy and often times I have been known to say something under my breath that I know is wrong, but it is my way of not calling them out publicly – which I really want to do but I know it won’t change a thing. What I have done, is respond with a ‘YOUR WELCOME’ making it known they were rude – or at least that is how I feel about it.
Some other situations that test me
- When you hold the door open for anyone and they say nothing UGH!
- Sometimes I may be in the store standing in an aisle talking to someone or looking for something specifically scanning the shelves and notice there is a person who needs to get through. I move and apologize for being in the way. They just move on (usually annoyed).
I try to be nice and have good manners because I really don’t have to do any of these things! It happened while shopping with my sister. I turned to her and said, ‘gosh I hate people today.’ Yes- I am frustrated. She told me that maybe I should stop doing that from now on. The problem with that? If we all stop it, don’t you think bad manners will become prevalent and take over (as if they haven’t already)? Everyone will lose respect and turn into rude SOBs and it just won’t be good!
Brief google search
Yes, this is the extent of my research about this, there have been articles written since 2010 regarding the loss of good manners specifically saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. They are all short reads and some quite entertaining.
Today Show 2010: What happened to please and thank you?
Patrick Allan at Lifehacker.com 6/8/2017 (love this title!): Say “Please” and “Thank You,” You Ungrateful Monsters
NPR 3/14/2012: Please Read This Story, Thank You
And the saga continues…
Who is to blame? I am not sure if you can place blame on any 1 reason as there are so many influences in the world today with social media and technology. What I do know is that children need to be taught good manners from the get-go. Below is a list of manners that children should be taught. I found this in a recent post (8/14/2019) that outlines some pretty basic manners that all children should learn and also included some additional ‘thoughts’:
Say please… duh! Showing consideration for people is so important!
Say thank you…This will show me you appreciate what someone did, which in turn makes them feel good.
Look people in the eye…Otherwise, you may be lying-just kidding maybe-this is really a respectful thing to do.
Apologize…Some do this way too much even when there is nothing to be sorry for but when you do apologize it does show that you cared about what went wrong.
Smile and have a good attitude…Smiling is one thing and sometimes those who do not smile enough end up having a resting b!t*h face look that just doesn’t work as you get older (Personally, it was too late for me-HA).
Make small talk…The more you verbally chat with others, the more likely you will be able to network for business & have friendships for life.
Ask questions of others…This shows that you are interested in what someone has to say and helps you to learn about people and other things.
Saying excuse, me…I like saying pardon, me. To me, it just sounds better. Why? Because some people say, ‘excuse me’ with an emphasis on ‘ME’ and that is just plain rude!
Look for opportunities to compliment others…It really isn’t a good thing to talk about yourself all the time to other people. It is better to engage your friends, co-workers and also take notice of them – in a legal and appropriate way of course!
Share…shows you care and that you think of others and in a group environment, be a team player.
Treat others the way you want to be treated…pure respect here and common sense, right?
Read the whole article on manners to teach here.
We can’t move on without some of my own adds, can we?
Say ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ or something similar…This goes back to acknowledgment. Ignoring people is not okay (well unless you really struggle – just kidding). If you do not like someone, you should still say hello or goodbye, especially when you are in a small group or one-on-one setting. Ignoring people, especially when you know them is just wrong.
Never interrupt…It is plain rude. Have you ever interrupted Alexa? You don’t get your answer and must start all over again – enough said!
Are we done already?
So, so many more thoughts, but this post would go on all day and night if I shared them. These frustrations are the underlying reasons I had employment burnout, became an HR Pro-To-Go and started blogging (super fun to get everything out there in writing, voice, etc). You should read these – they are great – please and thank you!
So, in this world of voice-responsive gadgets and gizmos, will good manners be lost for good? I hope not because my HR world (well, really business in general) can’t function without them. What do you think?
Thank you in advance, for reading and commenting below!
All the best… *judean*
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