Burnout Won – How HR Life Changed My Personal Life

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I’ve outlined how HR Life positively changed my personal life and I have also written about how it affected me negatively. Coincidentally I write this during Mental Health Awareness month and the burnout won.

May is mental health awareness month.

Burnout is real and no joke. Towards the end of 2015, I started seeing a mental health counselor (yes, I am admitting to that). My life was spinning out of control and I was very unhappy. Work was affecting me greatly. The anxiety and depression were real. I took my work very personal and strived to make a change in each and every Human Resources role I had. I worked very long hours, my work-life balance was off-balance.

My frustrations spilled over into home life. My husband would call me at work and I was always too busy to talk to him – like always. When I traveled out of state to other locations, I would be in my hotel room working. I didn’t have any time to say goodnight.

When I got home from a day’s work, I was tired, lazy and just plain miserable. All I did was talk about work and the daily struggles – couldn’t leave work at work. Often times, I would be on my laptop working on the weekends!

What happened?

In early 2017, my manager told me my role was relocating to another state. This specific location needed more focus and the seasoned, work culture needed severe help. The company needed an HR presence every day instead of one week each month.  Here are the two reasons I said no:

  1. Tired of every investigation, employee relations issues and the refusal of management to little by little help change the culture. When I left, one of the projects we were working on was learning about “The Oz Principle: Getting Results Through Individual and Organizational Accountability.” The concept was AMAZING. However, buy-in was necessary from the top-down and management action was critical. I had a sense early on they loved the message but were unwilling to take action. To my knowledge today, that project went defunct.
  2. I couldn’t leave my family. After all, I was working to repair the damage already done and I couldn’t focus full time on the problem location I had been working with for several years – I was done.

Next Steps

I spent the summer of 2017 relaxing. I spent lots of time outside near the pool, running with friends and ultimately learning how to be selective with opportunities where company culture matched my needs and project-related strengths. One of the things I learned in counseling was to focus on yourself and not everyone else. That was a struggle for me. So I continued counseling for several years because there is so much more to what is mentally going on that it takes a long time to get through it. Writing down my thoughts actually helps as well and I was doing a lot of it.

Burnout Won Pin This

Thoughts on Paper Created New Ideas

While unemployed, I was on social media more often than not because I was essentially bored. I came across a new opportunity that would help to showcase my thoughts: personal HR stories and the ways I relieve stress and anxiety as a result of the HR burnout. I signed up for a FREE “Start a Money Making Blog 5-day” online course. This gave me an opportunity and a network to tap into for learning and growth with the end game to supplement my consultant income. If you enjoy story-telling, writing, and social sharing, etc. this course is an awesome beginner start to what could be a huge success! If you stick to it, success will follow!

New Role/New Opportunity

An HR Pro-To-Go equals more Independence and Flexibility, which can eliminate Burnout!
HR Consulting

About 4 months after I left my last full-time role, I became an HR Consultant I titled: HR Pro to Go, essentially being that person who can jump into an HR role and take over in a pinch as well as working on HR-related company projects such as human resources info systems (HRIS) and application tracking (ATS) transitions. What I have enjoyed the most are the pre and post due diligence acquisition projects that have afforded me so much knowledge. Don’t get me wrong – there is still burnout but limited!


Flexibility, as it relates to a work-life balance, is what I seek day in and day out. There are many opportunities for those who are interested in a flexible, work-at-home environment.  I have subscribed to a job site called flexjobs.com for a couple of years now. I believe this is a great site that showcases companies with flexibility in their work.

It is through flexjobs.com I was offered an opportunity to be a Destination Services Consultant where I work on programs that help companies transfer their workforce to a new city – I do love my city so I thought this was a great opportunity and I get to choose the programs I want to work!


My husband and I hit a really rough patch and continue to try and work on our life together. It hasn’t been easy and I am not sure where it will go but we continue to work on it. While I have made the change as a result of what transpired in the past, it still feels like he is angry I have chosen to get mentally healthy by changing my work-style. I think for him, much of it is about money since I was well paid. It is a daily struggle.

As I write this…

I have been working as an independent contractor/consultant for a company in Human Resources. At first, I was the interim HR Manager while the company determined the next steps. After several months, my consultant role switched to acquisition due diligence and currently wrapping up HRIS, Payroll, and Recruitment (ATS) software transitions – I love it!

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I am learning and working more on my blog site – it is a lot of work but enjoyable. In fact, I received my first check earlier this year and it has helped to stay motivated to continue!

My work-life balance has been a relieving change because I make my own schedule while remaining flexible for the companies I work with.  It doesn’t come without some stressful times though. Sometimes the burnout creeps in during projects. Other times, the hours have not been abundant-hence the reason my husband still gets frustrated. However, in time I believe things happen for a reason and everything will work out in the end!

All the best… *Judean*

How has your personal life changed as a result of your day job? Are you suffering from burnout? Let me know by commenting below!

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  1. I suffered tremendous burnout with my last job. I was an independent consultant for a medical office, working seven days a week and nearly 15 hours a day. I was being taken for granted and my skills worked to the bone. I nearly lost it ~ until I found the opportunity to break away and finally do what I love. Good for you for taking a stand! Burnout is not fun to experience.

  2. It is interesting to hear you say that burn out was real. Especially since you are in HR. About a year ago I definitely felt burnt out. It was the job in addition to the commute and having young kids at home. I took a job that is different but doesn’t allow me to have as much visibility or to make changes like my last position. I’m still bummed about that but the slower pace and flexibility has made it worth it. One day I will strive for a more demanding job, but this is just where I am in my life right now and that’s ok!

    1. It took me probably 10 years to realize the stress was taking a toll. Then it took me about 4-5 years to actually make a decision to not go back to the grind. Now I have a different grind 🙂
      Slower pace and flexibility is a good thing as long as it keeps you focused on all of the important things in life – including yourself!

  3. Thank you for being so honest. Don’t just “admit” to counseling! Share it proudly! It needs to not be a stigma any more than getting help for cancer would be. I love your journey!

  4. Way to be open and honest in your post. Everyone needs a mental health break and there is no wrong in admitting so. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Day jobs can be tough. Such a grind. I am a tour guide in the summer, which takes up pretty much every hour of every day with no days off, but it is worth it because it allows my time during the rest of the year to be flexible!

  6. Yay for you, for putting yourself first. I’m excited to follow your continuing journey.

    I woke up one morning last uearcwithbyhis question in my head: Do you want to be the Queen of your own kingdom? Or a pawn in someone else’s? I choose to build and create my own.

    1. That is awesome Cindy – one step at a time for me. Sometimes I get lost in quotes so I define it a bit differently – taking control of you!

  7. As a teacher who is leaving at the end of the year, I can totally relate to burn out… I am currently making changes to find a better balance and to be happier.

  8. Wow – this sounds so much like us! I had such awful burnout I was so miserable and it definitely affected our marriage. Still does, even though I too quit that position. I was pulling in quite a bit of money, though, so my husband is also sort of upset with the lifestyle change. We are struggling through a HUGE rough patch – his burnout caused alcohol issues that deeply impacted our marriage. My burnout caused communication issues and resentment and holy moly working through those both are just… sometimes impossible seeming. We don’t know where we will end up either, but we are doing everything we can. Both of us saw mental health professionals which significantly helped, and we will be starting to see a new marital counselor Monday. Best of luck to you guys! It is so hard!

    1. Wow – just – wow Michelle! Thank you for sharing and best of luck to you both as well. What will be will be and I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. We are no longer going to individual counseling or marriage counseling – I was tired of that too. We shall see what the future holds….

  9. Burnout is real and affects all aspects of your life. I left my management role a year ago and couldn’t be happier. It took a lot of soul searching as deciding whether or not to do that because I worked so hard to get there. But so glad I was able to take back my work-life balance.

  10. I got into blogging because of something similar. I had an incident at work involving a client and a complaint with the governor’s office. because I have such great hr people, they were so supportive of me and cleared my name within two days. I wasn’t burnt out, but became fearful that one bad he person could have cost me my job.

    1. I am so glad to hear that HR was able to find the truth and things worked out for you Pauline. All too often I hear of how HR didn’t care to listen, investigate, and/or swept thing under the rug. In my opinion, that is not an HR department I would be in…at all! C-Level management sometimes has a heavy old on the HR department and there is nothing you can do to stop it – but leave.

  11. Burnout is so real. I’m dealing with many of these same problems and it is slow going, but the changes have been worth it.

  12. Thanks for sharing. I have gone through periods of that in my life. Thankfully, my job is flexible and I have made an effort to carve out time in my day to “catch up” It has made it a lot more manageable.

  13. Wow, you are so transparent! Money is so hard to give up, and I hope your mental health and time provides you and your husband some space to heal. I’m impressed by your journey and creativity in coming up with a solution you could live with!

  14. Yes! I struggled with burnout at my job as well. Mostly it was because it wasn’t the focus that I had originally had for my business. I had taken a different type of path within my profession and I suffered greatly for it. When I got back on track and put into place the business I had dreamed about, it improved my mental health GREATLY. Love your post, and love that you’ve chosen something that seems to make you happier.

  15. When my fiance and I initially moved down to Florida, I picked up a Sales job just to help cover bills until I could find a position towards my Animation Degree (granted, the position was advertised as “Event Planner”😓). Worse…decision…ever! I had a social anxiety breakdown within a month of doing Hard-Sales! It was bad enough where I had to schedule an appointment with a therapist at the VA clinic. Til this day, I refuse to do hard-sales ever again, but I am grateful for what they taught me about pitching an idea. Now I use the five steps (Intro-Short Story-Presentation-Closing-Rehash) in my blogs. Now I can help people while promoting things that I actually care about without coming across as pushy, but I probably would have never learned this technique without that job opportunity. That mistake ended up being a decent learning opportunity.

    1. Love when that happens! I think everything that happens, we can learn from it – what to do, what not to do, etc. Congratulations to you!!

  16. My corporate life was causing burnout…. your story totally resonated with me. Burnout is real and will manifest into health issues. I got out before it got too bad. Last week I was there I was at the Dr. making sure I was not having a heart attack. Glad you are in a better situation.

    1. Thank you! Growing up I thought I was invincible-could do everything for everyone and it really got out of hand – so happy I can pick and choose now. Thanks for sharing Tricia!

  17. Awesome! Very inspiring, I’m glad you got out the crazy and focused on what you thought was best! But you also still get to use your skills which is wonderful!

  18. I’m glad you found more of a balance for your life. It’s so important, and I feel one of the first things to go as we try to juggle all things work, family, spouse, etc.

  19. No shame in admitting you see a therapist. I see one 6x a month! And, I take a slew of medications. The combination is what literally keeps me alive! Good luck on this adventure!

    1. As someone who has always been a perfectionist – it is hard to admit to things that to the untrained/general eye, seem ‘off’. Thanks Laura! Good luck to you!

  20. I just recently quit a part time office job to start my blog!! I’m too old to work at jobs that aren’t any fun. I went back to pet sitting too for income. That’s much preferable to sitting at a desk for 5 hours per day. 🙂 Great article!!!!

    1. Thank you! I have a friend who walks dogs – I cannot believe how much $$ people pay for an hour of walking a dog or two or three!

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